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Wednesday, September 14, 2005
I am utterly disappointed with myself right now. I cant play propely, cant study properly, just cant do anything right. I'm just feeling inferior to everyone, esp in my pipa. All of my friends, they can at least play a full song out, I cant. I hate the feeling of losing. I've tasted it and hate it badly. It makes me so depressed. My teachers don understand me, no one does. They just think I'm a playful girl who can be serious with her playing only at points of time. I'm losing out to everyone i know. How hard i put in the effort of practising hard was not seen by my teachers. They just think that I'm not playing well. Sometimes I really feel like giving up cause it's stupid to waste my time and effort if no one sees and acknowledge it. This sucks totally... trying to stay positive? how to? i see wat i see... it makes me feel worse then ever. Maybe i should realli just give up, concentrate on my studies and go get a living and get away from music asap. It realli saddens me to hear the comments of wat my teachers say. I noe i'm competitive, and all my hopes are dashed just by one incident. So wat if i can console ppl? i cant console myself now!!! That's y i hate myself for being like that. My parents don understand me, my teachers don understand me, my friends don understand me... everyone doesn't. They dunno how I feel, dunno wat happened to me, dunno anything abt me. They just see the happy side of me, have they ever seen the sad side of me? NO!! they don even noe that i'm sad...
11:35 PM;
N
{LA VOISINE}
::I'm Michelle~
::It's simply me
::U don like it, then back off
::It's all abt music
::Play hard, Study hard
N
{ATRIBUIR}
Layout
RAHH;{
/designer
}
CACP.CSGBB.MASEXY.JENKINS2.0.{
/font
}
N
{MELOMANE}
Improve my skills...
GO HONGKONG!!!!!
Get a new pair of shoes...
Change phone
New laptop
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{AMI}
{
/Andrea
}
{
/Benda
}
{
/ChingKai
}
{
/Elvia
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{
/Fairul
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{
/Faisal
}
{
/FangXing
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{
/Faustine
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{
/Gabriel
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{
/Geraldyne
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{
/HongQing
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{
/HongYi
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{
/HongZhou
}
{
/JingXuan
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{
/JoeTan
}
{
/Jonathan
}
{
/KaiXiang
}
{
/MichelleTan
}
{
/MinHui
}
{
/MinRu
}
{
/QiaoDie
}
{
/QianWen
}
{
/Rachel
}
{
/Raymond
}
{
/RebeccaNg
}
{
/Shurong
}
{
/SuHui
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{
/WanYing
}
{
/WeiKang
}
{
/XinHui
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{
/XueJiao
}
{
/XueQi
}
{
/YanYi
}
{
/ZhiRong
}
{
/ZhiWen
}
N
{DISCOURIR}
N
{ARCHIVES}
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{DEMENTI}
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