Tuesday, September 27, 2005
ok after much anticipation, i finally uploaded my baby pic. isnt it cute? haha... anw i was being pestered my my dear friend, qd, to post it up.. are u happy now?haha...
gosh i think i look retarded in it..haha...
2:15 PM;
Friday, September 23, 2005
Todae went to watch the Gushing Strings concert with xue qi they all. I was looking forward to Yang Wei's pipa solo. haha... he's my idol and he's cute...wahaha
Anw, after the 'long' wait, which i myself think..haha.. here comes Yang Wei's solo... he played tian er and it rocks. It touched my heart.. how i wish i can play like him too..haha...but i think he should be more forceful in his playing... hai why does he wan to follow liu lao shi's playing in such an early age...haha.. but no matter wat, he rocks..haha
then after that, we went to get his signature... and i took a photo with him!! haha.. ok forgive me for being so high..haha...
1:44 AM;
Sunday, September 18, 2005
의외의 대회 일
광산 꿈안에 세계 모두에 고독한 사랑이
있기 때문에 너를 지금 나 안으로 기다리기
참을성이 있과 나눌 것이다 동일한 회상
이 지금 있기 위하여 너는 나의
심혼안에 넣어두지 않은 모든 장소 동일
한 시간 영속한다 생각하 어떤
것은i모두! 희망은 가까운에 너 돌려보
내 떨어져 눈물을 닦는 행복한
시간안에 아주 먼 장소안에 나의
몸을 이지 않 너는 뒤에 있어 너의를
있지 않는 어떤 고통을 광산 심혼안에
나가 너가 알고있은 뿐만 아니라 사람 이는
사랑을 체재해 있기 때문에 지금
나가 안으로 참을성이 있과 너 나의
측에 반환에게 나의 심혼안에 너에게
지금 맡기지 않은 모든
장소를 영속하는 너를 기다리기
4:50 PM;
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Todae went to help out in Zhang lao shi's ruan concert.. soooo tired now, but it was very good. Everyone did their best in the concert... haha.. and todae was like a gathering for all the sco teachers. i saw so many of them todae.. like yu lao shi, guo lao shi, ye lao shi, qu lao shi, situ lao shi, xu lao shi etc... so many ppl were there todae. haha.. but it's so nice to see all of them gathering together..haha.
Then after that went to tcc with eug and yan yi. I realised that yan yi eat very slow and the two of us were like waiting for her..haha... and eug was laughing like that stupid peter in family guy. i "slapped" him...haha.... stupid boy..haha... then later went home with eug cause yan yi taking bus.. hai..
Todae went out real well, everyone enjoyed the concert and I think Zhang lao shi must be very happy...haha
1:56 AM;
Friday, September 16, 2005
有你真好
这时候最能让我想起你
多希望你在这里
你总是愿意把你的手心借给我握紧
该往哪里
我总是依赖着你
你是我的方向感
我可以确定你会带着我朝对的方向前进
i'm thinking of you
我有你真好
你能让烦恼变得渺小
我遇见一个最懂我的人
我会提醒自己把这份爱收好
i'm thinking of you
我有你真好只要牵着你的手
就知道我不是一个人在这世界停靠
因为我拥有你在我心里
4:14 PM;
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
I am utterly disappointed with myself right now. I cant play propely, cant study properly, just cant do anything right. I'm just feeling inferior to everyone, esp in my pipa. All of my friends, they can at least play a full song out, I cant. I hate the feeling of losing. I've tasted it and hate it badly. It makes me so depressed. My teachers don understand me, no one does. They just think I'm a playful girl who can be serious with her playing only at points of time. I'm losing out to everyone i know. How hard i put in the effort of practising hard was not seen by my teachers. They just think that I'm not playing well. Sometimes I really feel like giving up cause it's stupid to waste my time and effort if no one sees and acknowledge it. This sucks totally... trying to stay positive? how to? i see wat i see... it makes me feel worse then ever. Maybe i should realli just give up, concentrate on my studies and go get a living and get away from music asap. It realli saddens me to hear the comments of wat my teachers say. I noe i'm competitive, and all my hopes are dashed just by one incident. So wat if i can console ppl? i cant console myself now!!! That's y i hate myself for being like that. My parents don understand me, my teachers don understand me, my friends don understand me... everyone doesn't. They dunno how I feel, dunno wat happened to me, dunno anything abt me. They just see the happy side of me, have they ever seen the sad side of me? NO!! they don even noe that i'm sad...
11:35 PM;
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
I feel that in my life, i owe many people favours. They taught me many things about life, pipa, music, relationships.Although i may not see them again, I must thank them for teaching me so many things and making me feel that I'm not as useless as I thought I am. Thanks xue qi, su hui, eugene, faisal, qiao die, jian min, jeh ni, yu lao shi, guo lao shi, chen lao shi. All of you have put sparkles in my life and helping me in all the possible ways that all of you can. Thank you very much.
I realised that we must understand the music and the flow of it, before we even start playing it. We must feel it in us, be in it, thus playing music that touches the hearts of people. We can't rush into things, esp playing music, must learn to enjoy in the midst of it, and learn as well. This would help us improve as we know the music--it's in our hearts. Like wat guo lao shi said once, we should learn the meaning of the song and wat the music is trying to express, thus playing it.
I also realised I have yet to come to the degree of trying to understand what i am playing. From the way i play, I only feel emptiness. I couldn't feel the feelings expressed by the song, I could only say---lack practice and experience. How I wish that I can be like my teacher one day, playing with the feelings that the song is supposed to express and in addition her own feelings of the song. I still haven master the technique of bringing out the dynamics in the song... hai...
And I have to say, only true friends would come to your help when you're feeling down. During this period of time, both of you( you know who you are) have shown and given me both emotional and physical support and helped me cross this hurdle. Thus, I must thank you both. You both have given me precious advice that I'll need for the rest of my life...
12:57 AM;
Sunday, September 11, 2005
ok firstly, i hav no idea wat's happening to me... im just an ordinary girl going to meet my doom as my Os are nearing and im not the least afraid that im going to flung my prelims which is the coming week. hai.. so many things to do but so little time to finish it. Luckily i hav a group of friends who are always there for me when i need them.. phew.. haha.. thanks guys and gals... er for now like that..haha... cya
3:52 PM;